you stole my heart

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Husband & Wife - Why divorce?
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to
divorce my husband." "But why ?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me." The judge asked, "How do you know ?" She replied,
"My lord, not a single child resembles him."

Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after
I die I want you to marry Samy." "Samy! But he is your enemy !"
"Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."

Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring
At the cocktail party, one man said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger? " The other replied, "Yes I am, I
married the wrong woman."

Husband & Wife - Why?
" Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be
home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's
arms. " Why, Dad ? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then
coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

Husband & Wife - Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first
married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my
slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's
all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs
around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still
getting the same service!"

Husband & Wife - Talk About Husband
One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her
husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but
have I ever said anything bad about him?"

Husband & Wife - Love To Do
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door
and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her
every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to." Replied
the husband. "But I don't know her well enough."

Husband & Wife - No Answer Back
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts
shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her." One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?"
The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.

Husband & Wife - Come Home Late
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the
neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock
in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that
cured him. "Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbour said,
"You see, his name is Bill."

Husband & Wife - Problem Father
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?" He
replied,"I'm going to be a father." "But that's wonderful," I said. "What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.

Just fOr laUghs & Sinner

1. Doctor's advice: Penis is the healthiest food. It comes with a
sausage accompanied by 2 eggs & a bunch of seaweed. For exotic taste,
shake well for mayonise sause.

2. Latest news! Tom Cruise is in love with Thai princess but the
King will not allow their marriage unless Tom Cruise changes his name
to "Tom Yam".

3. A baby dog asked mama dog how papa look like? Mama dog reply:
"Your papa came from behind & I didn't have chance to see his face"!

4. Durex says to Whisper: "When you work, I lose my business for
about 7 days". Whisper replies: "If you fail to work just once, my
business stops for 9 months !!"

5. A lady visited her doctor again. Doc said: "U look more sick
& exhausted than b4. R u having 3 meals a day as I advised?" Lady:
"What? I thought u said 3 males a day!"

6. A priest lost his HEN & asked during mass. "Anyone got a
cock?" All men stood up. He said again "I mean anyone seen a cock?" All
women stood up. He said again " I meant anyone seen my cock?" All nuns
stood up.

7. What women think about sex: - At age 8, ignore it - At age
18, experience it - At age 28, look for it - At age 38, ask for it - At
age 48, beg for it- At age 58, pay for it - At age 68, pray for it - At
age 78, forget it!

8. I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry,
I cry. U laugh, I laugh. When U jump down from the window..... I look
down & shout "Confirm Si Liau"........

===================================

GIRL: I have sinned a great sin. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what
did he do to deserve that?

GIRL: Well, he kissed me.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: .Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he put his hand in my bra.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he took my cloths off.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he had sex with me!
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?

GIRL: .Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he told me he has AIDS.

PSYCHIATRIST: The BASTARD!

Monday, August 11, 2003

still craving fOr hOney pie. wOnder where the hell i can get sUch. tilll de dae i can get it, Onli then i shall be cOntented.

been slaCked with stUdies and tOO lazy tO be in schOOl. the thOught Of qUitting had been playing in my trOubled mind fOr sOme time bUt definitely a BIG NO-NO tO break the bOnd. all i wanna dO nOw is tO sit in a cOrner and cry my hearts Out. im lOst fOr wOrds and tOO sad tO even think Of anything except what's in my head nOw. i need the pillar Of strength tO keep me gOing and make me mOve On with life bUt sOmehOw Or rather i knOw i have tO play my part tOO.

the agOny and sOrrOw in me are tOO painfUl fOr me tO absOrb. i jUst can't take it anymOre.

:: ffy 11:15pm ::

Thursday, August 07, 2003

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me. And my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts, and low cut blouses.She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her breasts. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.I was in total shock and couldn't' say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."

I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment,then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

Monday, August 04, 2003

If your not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If your not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We will make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I dont want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If I am not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I dont need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I dont need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If your not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If your not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I dont know why your so far away
But I know that this much is true
We will make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in your the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I dont want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If I am not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
Cause I love you, whether its wrong or right
And though I cant be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I dont want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If I am not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Saturday, August 02, 2003

shOuld i stay Or shOuld i gO?
shOuld i say we're thrOugh?

i dOnt knOw hOw should i feel right nOw. i jUst dOn't. helpless and hOpeless at the same time. wish sOmeOne cOuld just take me away frOm here. fate is crUel and making a spOt Of me. its sO unfair.

:: ffy 6:02 pm ::