you stole my heart

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

ive contradicted to what ive said in the previous entry. its just the sudden urge to type this away since im practically bored and had no lesson for the day. envy me not. this is the only time that i will get to enjoy such privilege.

self declared practicum's over. since the school's having their exams till the 10th. now im thinking on how i could occupy myself on these days apart from the invigilation. *sigghhhhh*. its tooooo early to say goodbye to this school come 5th May. i hate goodbyes. i will miss everything here. in fact, im enjoying my life and am happy here though lesson plans did drain every bit of my energy till i grumbled and broke down. thankful tt my CTs have the same frequency as mine. glad there are the trainees who filled up the empty space. satisfied that the canteen food this time round is wayyyyyyy much better that St Joseph Convent's where I had my attachment 2 - 3 years back. the kids altough mischievious, they will just brighten my day in some way or another. the journey to school is just a 5 minute walk. what more could i ask for. i teared when i was informed that i might not return to this school as a full pledged teacher. *double sigghhhhh*

the practicum grading had been finalised earlier this morning. examination results to be released any moment. wondering how i would fare. permanent posting will be out soon. i will miss the life as a student. terribly.

my engagement preparation. zilch that has been done so far. 2 weeks+ left yet i still procrastinate. im doing the gubahans solely with lil help from the aunt who is coming down this Saturday from KL. hopefully they will turn out well and that on the actual day itself, everyting will run smoothly without any hiccups. the other aunt and uncle are sponsoring the 1kg Prima Deli Chocolate fudge cake for the gubahans and perhaps the food expense whereas mum wanted to sponsor me the baju kurung. shitty feeling. i just don't wish to accept any offers. FOR NOW. all im asking is that hopefully things will turn out fine.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

ho ho.. seriously 1 thing did not lead to another. neither do i have any probs nor the upcomoming plan that is the cause of such shits. in any case, its better that i just shut my bloody mouth. indeed draggy. maybe I AM the bad girl.

i will be away. on a virtual vacation. perhaps a looonggg one. till my engagement's over. *busy mode*.

YES. U'VE SEEN IT RIGHT. I AM GETTING ENGAGED. 13th MAY IS THE DATE.

eh wait.. shouldn't I leave WAN as told? should i obliged then? sarcastic i am.

till further notice.

Monday, April 17, 2006

tsk tsk.. i don't have to mention my disclaimer. you know the game, you know the rules. like ive said, no names mentioned. whether these people know who im referring to, why would they bother? if they are, they should have left their marks behind. don't you think so? in the 1st place, YOU should not have left your footprints behind. ONLY then, YOUR identity will not be revealed.

ive the right to rant abt whoever or whatever.if you feel the pinch, then too bad. no names mentioned.

neither do i felt the pinch abt YOUR MSN nick. cause i jolly well know who it was meant for. if you think i should consult a professional for such an attitude, perhaps YOU should too.

so what if my other babes do not know me for long as compared to YOU? is time really a factor? if they can compromise, accept each other flaws and work on it, accept one another's opinion with open mind and reflect on it, i don't see why this 15 years of friendship is unable to. you don't need time to know someone inside out. in fact the best friend whom ive been with longer than you people,Watie,does not know me that well.

no point ranting. too draggy. goodbye to this 15 years of friendship which only see the crust of the situation.

just for your info, ure not the only people in my list. ive other friends, family, my other half, and what else have i to spare my time for. my commitments. and if you think im making up excuses just because the other 2 are there, then i guess the excuses should start earlier. in fact i should be like MISS D. being MIA.

let me just take the blame. none of you is in the wrong. CASE CLOSED.

::ffy 09:22am ::

FISH (read: F***) to whatever has been said about me. FISH to whoever is saying things of me. don't judge me by my people. and my way of life.

sick and tired of all this immaturity and judgemental issues. don't trip my wire if i didn't cross your line. my life, my pictures, my people are not for you to judge. i can recipocrate and tell you straight to the face but i would rather hold back my anger for now.

15 years of friendship. 3 gal pals. but such predicament. i guess i should just leave you 3 alone. so that conflicts, shits, love hate friendship do not arise. and when these do happen, either 1 of u will be the peacemaker. instead of me.

enough said.

by any chance GLAMOUR is written all over the following pictures?

enlighten me.

my people, my life, are way tooooo simple for me to have such a GLAMOUROUS story, you know. if its tooooo GLAMOUR, shouldn't i befriending the upper class people who dons designer wear from head to toe?

TRULY ENOUGH SAID. shall not rant on. *heart pain*.

now i knoe how MISS D must have felt for wanting to contact you back for good.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

HERE GOES THE STORY OF MISS BADDY BUBBLY BUBBLE

Enjoy.

i think if others can be sensitive, so can i. why not? and i DO NOT see it as a joke upon reading that particular day sms and the dated entry. at times we should draw a line between jokes and seriousness.

kenduri arwah lipas? sympathetic is THE word.

every individual is entitled to his/her time and right. just like you. if you need the time off, that is your right. if you can tell your other girlfriends off for taking your time away, everyone has the right too, since 1 day = 24hrs. we have other commitments as well. shits which cropped up the last minute is just beyond human's control. even so if IM THE MISS BUBBLE as what you have claimed for turning down your invitations, at least i have the basic courtesy to inform you. if my other girlfriends are able to accept such turn downs from yours truly and not label me as such, why do you have to? therefore can i label you as MISS SENSITIVE then?

its by human nature that we express ourselves through emotions should things are better left unsaid. perhaps for those who have been around me for way tooooo LONG may seem to know me as someone who likes to bottle things up and not speak my mind when needed. i just can't be bothered to be upfront. but you wouldn't like it when i open my mouth. its pretty bad. TRULY BAD indeed. the pakcik knows me. of which, another human creature (no longer in contact) knows that too. neither do i like the way i am.

at least, i DO NOT look for my buddies only when im in deep shit. at least im not that persistent when in need. at least im not an arrogant bitch who boasts about her job and highly paid salary. at least i know where i stand and not live on a fairy tale who dreams of leading a tai-tai status. neither do i have glamorous friends as claimed. though pictures paint a thousand word. kidding me not don't you. there's soooo freaking much that i wanna spit out, but i guess all these are wasting my bloody time. ive got other better things to do. some things or rather some people should change. i should just keep mum. im way tooooo tired adapting to human's behaviour around me just so that i would not tripped their wires in any way. in fact, ive tasted tooooo much salt when it comes to love hate relationship, friendship and whatever shi(t)p have you. thus the reason for me toning down on my shitty attitude. which ive left behind for someone. CHANGE. MATURITY. COMPROMISING. thats all it takes. to be a better someone.

if you think im MISS BUBBLE , so be it. im the only girlfriend of yours who is such a person, isn't it? hurray to such title.

you know what. though im the MISS BUBBLE, at least you should be grateful enough that i treasure this friendship and let you be the 1ST person to be informed of my hush - hush upcoming plan. even my other girlfriend who was the next person to be informed was truly honoured. that shows how much bad overcomes good. perhaps you sit down and ponder over certain issues. we are not the only one living on this earth.

p/s: now i miss my Naddy Nad Nad, Cammy Wammy and Malzy Walzy. those chaotic moments we had in NIE. will see you babes in NIE soon. suprise there will be. hopefully.

:: ffy 11:37pm ::

Friday, April 14, 2006

i truly love Evergreen Secondary. my heart is sooooo attached to the school's environment, teachers and students. im looking forward to return to the school upon graduating but my hope is dashed for now. there is no vacancy as i was told by the HOD when he came to observe my lesson. i guess all ive got to do now is to either look for a school of my preference or leave it to MOE to decide for me. im utterly dissappointed. but i can't do much. i guess i shall leave it to fate. fortunately, the other trainees are the hyper bunch who always make my day. nice kakis. a whole load of 6 chaotic bunch. hoping to reunite with them in the same school that we will be posted to. all that matters to us is to have each other back even if the school is not to our expectation.

officially 3 more weeks to go, but Evergreen will be having their mid-year exams from 27th onwards. that makes 1.5 weeks more before we self-declare ourself free from practicum. how fast time flies. im left with 1 more observation from my NIE supervisor and another from my CT. after which all burden will be unloaded from my shoulders. VP's, supervisor's and CT's observations will be this coming week and i was hoping i could clear them by this week so that i can enjoy my long weekend. but shucks, no chance to. how GREAT.

on another note, im working on a secret mission which will not be revealed until further notice. closest GFs will be informed soon to make this mission a memorable one. SOON. meanwhile, be patient. so far, 2 have been informed. more to come ladies. im ~~sexcited~~ excited. but for the meantime, im letting the other parties handle it on my behalf so that i can give my full attention to the practicum's observation this coming week. my grade is greatly dependent on them. no way that i will jeopardize it.

looking forward to Saturday. to release all tension and *ehem*, the result of the secret mission. i soooo miss the pakcik. his working schedule and mine just clashes. and he's busy earning extra buckaroos.

:: ffy 12:44am ::