you stole my heart

Saturday, October 29, 2005

this doctor said this, that doctor said that. another doctor said another thing. *siiiiggghhh*. why can't 1 of them get it over and done with. just operate and don't let me suffer can? blardy mangkuk. made my blood go upstairs. freaking annoying. and i just can't tolerate the pain till i die, can i?

went out with Naddy Nad Nad after break fast earlier and got hm at 11+. advance pay just hype us up. from admiralty to sembwg to marsiling to wdlds just to get the stuffs to make kuih raya. *semangat habis*. end up chilled at my usual hot spot CB Sun Plaza and its just not my luck; the brownies were sold out. *best benar*. kempunan sey. padahal last friday dah makan. this is call addictive.

i shall sleep early cos i need to wake up early morning to complete the necessary housechores and schoolwk before mtg Naddy Nad Nad in the afternoon. we shall head to town 1st (window shopping+shopping) before mtg the rest of the coursemates (girls) to break fast at Seoul Garden Takashimaya. for the 1st time in 4yrs, this is the only outing where we had full force; 15 in all (i guess so). well, once we will be out teaching, there will be difficulty of meeting one another, let alone an outing. *conperm besok kecohrable kan*. definitely nye.

p/s: to Cam, pasang langsir, jgn tak pasang. hehe.. meet us asap after ure done with your work.

:: ffy 0120am ::

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

today unexpectedly i had to go on MC..i couldn't lift up the right hand.it was such a severe pain.went polyclinic and was given a referral letter to SGH for an appt this Thursday.depending on the severity of my right wrist,i might have to go for an operation to remove the ganglin(growth).dah cacat tangan nanti,ade scar plak.right now,the hand is bandaged up to avoid any strain on the wrist.this year is a HELL.

for now,i shall just indulge in Victoria Secret.this will be my next shopping paradise.yesssss,i will tighten belt and shop online,especially on the clothing.i believe i have to at least get 1 piece a month since its in US$.its a MUST!but the delivery will take time too.now i know what's the right gift for Naddy Nad Nad 20th Birthday.*evil laughters*.

:: ffy 12:07am ::

Sunday, October 23, 2005

the half-kental-short-hair me to the i-don't-wat-to-cut-my-hair me now

dubbie..i wonder how i looked back then when i saw u at yishun. must be sooooo kental bacin right? btw i still want your XR k. not the WR. and i thought you owe me a ride? *roll eyes*. and to dear foxy queenie, i am still as shy as what ive told you. if i ever bump into you again in the train, i wouldnt acknowledge you still. i very pemalu lah..tak bedek. ive met shay, ive bumped into dub and foxy, and i saw Que at town last 2-3 wks ago on a Friday, before the fasting month. but as usual, i recognized people. but they wouldnt recognize me though. a good thing for sure.

:: ffy 12:30am ::

Friday, October 21, 2005

*breathes in breathes out*..

sleepless nights yet again. deadlines and the heavy workload are killers. at times i feel a tinge of regret for choosing this path. if only there isnt any 5yr-bond to be served. *sighhhhh*. i would be grateful then.

not looking forward for this year RAYA as on the 2nd day of the festive ive to submit a 1500-2000 words educational pyschology1 essay assignment. *double siiiighhhh*. furthermore ive not done any preparation for RAYA as im tied down with the tonnes of assignments tt are yet to be completed. perhaps im much more looking forward to the year end bonus. hopefully there is. for now, i can hardly breathe. still digesting the what nots. *triple siighhhhh*.

i hope that person will really change for HIMSELF. definitely for the better. im just someone that can advise and stand by him when shits happen. i guess ignorance is bliss. i should have not read whats not meant to be and just clear whatever is necessary with you upfront in the 1st place. yes, what is 4yrs compared to the 19 odd years. i realised tt. what a shit i am. but the hurt tt person caused was soooo intense. god noes how badly paranoid and traumatised i am NOW even after 1yr had passed. given the choice, i would want to take a step forward and leave everything behind. to forgive is not as easy as to forget..TRUST ME. but there's something that held me back......................

im still picking up myself. fixing the broken pieces of my heart. even after he made me fall time and again, i plucked up my pride and dignity. for you to be on gd terms back with HIM is easy. but for me to forget what HE had ever done is ......... just BEYOND MY ABILITY. perhaps who am i to be compared to you when it comes to what he did to us.. he might have hurt you like he hurts me. but you wouldn't want to be in my shoes. you wouldnt want to EVEN think of taking your own life cos it simply UNBEARABLE when dealing with HIM.. true enough NAD? i guess BLOOD is THICKER than water.

chill with these then..

my 2003 Stephen White Bk; 2nd best after Danielle Steel

my 2005; which I just bought this morning in school..

uhhh yesss, its the 3yrs 11 mth anni today.. so what if it is? wishing for more happiness and smooth sailing rship perhaps?

:: ffy 12.00am ::

Saturday, October 15, 2005

toooo tired of ranting..toooo bz with workload.. and i might just end up tearing my hair apart.. still nursing the wound. thank you for all of your concern.. the entries were deleted cos it hurts reading them.. geesszz.. till then, pray hard tt i will complete this sem once and for all.. ok naddy nad nad and cammie.. its back to WORK.

:: ffy 01:25am ::

Sunday, October 09, 2005

- "....bt i juz fils dat derz no sparkle in ur eyes.. u stil lookz depressd.........." (pillar)
- "kau OK?nak kuar tak?kopi session". (Risa)
- "*hugs* hpe u feeling ok..." (Cam)

thx for the sms-es people. im trying my best to hang on.
im not in my usual self. i miss the pillar & the others. i havent got over some stuffs and i need to cry my hearts out again. i cant fast this wk, i cant pray to seek solace frm HIM & i cant ngaji to have my khatam twice asap. im sooooo freaking LOST & my mind's not at ease. been crying to slp for past few days. in no matter of time, i can become blind if this continues. my career is sooooo taxing & so is my rship. no doubt HES showing +ve change but i just cant help feeling depressed over certain issues.

i just wish my memory will be erased for i dun 1 to be reminded of my past and shits tt happened. i hurt tt someone way back & now i got hurt by another as retribution. if only i knew my stand back then. i just dun 1 HIM to be tt particular someone who had regretted for the actions done & came back looking for me. tts the reason for my constant nagging & reminder for HIM to take ctrl of his actions. *siigghhhhhhhhhhhh*. this rship is VERY demanding at times. ive done my VERY BEST but still failed.. if ONLY URE in my position, MR.

:: ffy 0100am ::

Monday, October 03, 2005

ever since the bike got stolen and recovered on the day itself, he had been down on his luck with nvrending summons and shits with the bike. the PHARKER must be a damn JINX.

FINALLY, he has decided to let go of his RXZ. he's torn apart between GILERA and RXZ (again). wave is a HELL NO NO alrite. its so not him. very MAT. no offence though but im very particular. you get the wave and i WILL NOT ride on it. i still prefer a SCRAMBLER but it will be reserved solely for me. KR? can but very dangerous. so opt that out.

whatever lah pakcik. the decision lies in your hands. i can only say this, worst come to worst we take public and you can just take your class 3. if you pass, you can drive your dad's car and be the chauffer for the family. if not, save bux and get a TOY CAR ok.

BEST NYEEEEE KENA TAG.. takde keje ehh.

7 things that scare me
1)GOD
2)DDay
3)War
4)insects
5)lightning, thunder
6)dad's anger
7)height

7 things i like most
1)eat
2)sleep
3)shop
4)sms
5)$$$$
6)talk cock
7)watch teevee

7 important things on me or in my room
1)2 rings on my fingers
2)handphone
3)laptop
4)tv, radio
5)multiple earrings
6)bed
7)wallet

7 random facts about me
1)i was awarded "BEST HANDWRITING" twice in pri sch..heh.
2)i wanted to be the 1st MALAY girl to fly the jetfighter. like real kan when im actually scared of height and i noe it will nvr come true. (OK, now laugh ppl)
3)my name (SUFFY) was extracted from my late grand-dads (SU from Sugiman, FFY from Dhiffy).
4)i have fetish for uniformed men esp, CD and Police Force.
5)i used to have VERY LONG hair; way past my butt k.
6)i LOVE SCRAMBLERS since SEC 1.
7)i played with guys'hearts till i hurt mine in return; its KARMA.

7 things i plan to do
1)graduate from NIE and complete the 5yrs bond asap (as if can).
2)save $$$$$ many many.
3)complete my 2B, get the blardy SCRAMBLER and take class 3.
4)be a filial daughter & sister.
5)repent.
6)settle down.
7)a degree perhaps??

7 things i can do
1)cook, sew.
2)swim, float in the pool.
3)IT savvy.
4)house chores without being told (tt includes wash toilet, wash clothes, mop, vacuum, clean windows)--> like maid already.
5)eat 2 plates of rice.
6)nag and nag and nag non stop (like mak nenek).
7)sleep with the fan OFF (i don't even use the air-con in the room).

7 things i cant do
1)cant stand cold temperature.
2)waking up promptly.
3)live away from mum.
4)rock climbing (did tt, been there and tts it)
5)last minute work (i WILL be dead)
6)drawing
7)iron clothes (i dread tt, most of my tops and bottoms don't require ironing)

7 words i say most
1)is it?
2)eh mak kau (melatar).
3)yaya papaya.
4)ba fa cin fi (bacin).
5)whatever.
6)ok.
7)shucks.

7 celeb crush
1)YUSRY KRU (since primary sch).
2)jean sean.
3)rani mukherjee.
4)arjun rampal (drools).
5)keanu reeves.
6)filippo inzaghi (WOOWWW).
7)zain ruffedge

these 5 ppl will help me break the curse. uve been TAGGED people. sorie.
1)risa
2)cam
3)ladydee
4)yaya
5)cv bro

:: ffy 11:15pm ::

Sunday, October 02, 2005

went to visit the cousin, Radiah, who had given birth in late August. she was supposed to due in October but the lil one must be TOO eager to see the world. im beginning to adore this lil Zulfan.

Rad's bundle of joy

the 'Uncle' with the nephew

the 'Aunt' with the nephew; Rad just spoilt the picture with her at the background

Zulfan slept throughout the hours when we were there. we tried to wake him up but to no avail. end up, the mummy and daddy, dee and me were engaged in conversations; more of gossips though. Rad planned to go Bali again; my aunt's place, in Dec, during the school hols and after we get our pay + BONUS. ahaaaa... this is the anticipated moment. die die i WILL go BALI.

:: ffy 11:24am ::