you stole my heart

Friday, January 27, 2006

ive been carrying a burden for these 4 years. it's not tt easy esp. when conscious bugs me real bad. i would not say it's a burden. instead, i would classify it as a secret. a rather sweet and sinful one. often, alone, my analytical mind starts to wonder and ponder over the unjustice done. either directly or indirectly towards me or the other involved party(s), whichever that is. i felt i've sinned. but noone can run away from committing mistakes, by default. as age catches up with you, you will become wiser. thus, the reason of me stepping down. i've made a firm stand this time to look forward and never turn back. ive failed the previous tries. perhaps, i wasn't wise enough. or believe in myself. or made the final decision as ive intended to. i was contemplating. i was too dependent. i was too afraid. i was in fact, hard on the outside, but soft on the inside.

im turning 22 in 8mths' time. you, dear ones, do not have to remind me. im aging. when in 199 to school, Cam was suggesting to catch the R21 movies with the other 2 babes, i was reminded of my age. i thought i would remain 21 forever. how fast time flies. indeed. 22. 23 next year. 24 in 2yrs' time. 25. a quarter of a century. and where will i be? what will i be doing? how will i fare in managing my life? i need to layout my workplan now for the current and future. im no longer a teen. no longer leading a carefree life back then in secondary and poly life. ive got a career now and parents to look after. plus the one & only kid bro. ive got my responsibilities and commitment. ive got a BF tt i don't even know if fate will bring us to the dais. honestly, im aging. i just can't carry on leading a double life. im too exhausted.

i won't say much. neither am i shedding crocodile tears. say what you want. if im ungrateful as what you've claimed, you ought to ask yourself this. i could have speaken up about you and your life isn't it. but i chose to keep mum. yet deep down, im being mentally and emotionally abused. GOD knows. so FUCK OFF. to you and me.

:: ffy 03:30am ::

Sunday, January 22, 2006

21st January; 4yrs 2mths anniversary. Secret Recipe Plaza Singapura indeed. presenting the food suckers...

the makcik

the pakcik

ready to eat

his meal for the day; SEDAPPPP

had this again

our aphrodisiac, the cheeze choc

and i soooo hate his bald look. no choice given. its work commitment. NOT NS.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

it was an impromptu plan by Naddy Nad Nad, when i was giving tuition to my lil cousin at 7pm, to catch the 9.45pm IN HER SHOES movie at Cineleisure. Causeway pt Cathay did not have any slots after 9.30pm. the last timing was at 7+pm as claimed by the makcik. alright, so we went ahead with the plan. a marvellous 2hrs 15mins show tt did tear me a lil. afterwhich, we had ice cream in the wee hours and dragged our feet for the NR2. home sweet home in 1 piece at 1.30am. hehhh.

:: ffy 02:00am ::

Thursday, January 19, 2006

sungguh naik lemak..!! makin menjadik-jadik..

since ive had my hols last year, ive been spending outdoors more often. *pantat ade cacing*. shopping and eating has been part of me now. this 1 week alone, ive been having food fiesta. my love for food is soooo intense eversince. 13th was to Newton with the babes, 17th to CB SunPlaza as usual but this time round it was my treat to the belated birthday girl, 18th to Secret Recipe with mum and yesterday, Kampung Chai Chee with mum and the relatives. besides the love for food, i did spare some of this love to shopping for tops before i embark my journey for practicum. speaking of tt, im posted to Evergreen Secondary, a 5-10 mins walk from my house, for my practicum. LUCKY indeed. 20th February onwards, i will save on my transport allowance. *phew*.

the $10/piece top from Dano @ IMM during a sale. now i need more bottoms. and begs. and footwear.

had asam pedas sardine before heading to CB. *tsk tsk*

the food lover, I ADMIT

with the belated birthday girl

food is all tt matter

MORE PICTURES at MY MULTIPLY

i forked out only $31.25 and it was WORTH it

mum had Tom Yam Spaghetti

i had Tom Yam Kung Set; the Cheeze Choc is SUPERB

weekend, hopefully, will be spent on burning those extra calories accumulated from all those feast tt i had. I FEEL FAT NOW!!!

:: ffy 01:07am ::

Saturday, January 14, 2006

i SOOOOO cannot sit still at home. gonna head for a shower, meet mum and the elder cousin and proceed to IMM. yesterday was heartening with the babes, reaching home exactly at midnight. and tomorrow, will be another day to spend outdoor. cos monday, is my off day. no lesson in school. except for home tuitions.

:: ffy 04:08pm ::

Friday, January 13, 2006

i SHALL myself destress today for the whole week of shitty workload and we SHALL head down to Newton for a feast. yes, we made it a point to have food fiesta every mth when we get our pay. and this time round FINALLY, its us 4.

:: ffy 12:54pm ::

Sunday, January 08, 2006

he said sorry if things went out of hand earlier. i can't say much.

i was 100 bucks poorer yesterday. there was no intention to shop but i've already promised mummy monster tt i will bring her out to get her tops. and the pakcik tagged along, hoping to get his tops as well for his upcoming training. but couldn't get any at Bugis and Geylang Serai. the day was full of laughter as usual when the pakcik meet the mummy monster cos the mummy monster just couldn't stop teasing the pakcik and this pakcik just couldn't stop his wackyness. *shakes head*. tsk tsk. i could't handle both of them.

and with him going for his in camp training tomorrow, 10 minutes ago, he just had to be cranky. for some known reasons. pakcik pakcik. clear it with the person(s) who anger you or vice versa. and not just let your anger take control of you and thrash it on me. this is not the 1st time you're having such situation. enough said.

:: ffy 08:35pm ::

Thursday, January 05, 2006

after 9 months of stepping down from being a tutor, i took up the post again today. but now with 2 P3 kids; my cousin and Naddy Nad Nad's sis. in fact, i've vowed not to tutor anymore but on the bright side, the bucks just tempt me. hopefully once practicum starts, it will not affect my tuition in one way or another.

on another note, the pakcik had been fully accepted by Cisco and will undergo in camp training for 7 weeks, booking out only on weekends. just like NS. now i have my weekdays devoted to only my school work, friends, family and tuition. it's soooooo gonna be different. weekdays with him will only be on the phone.

:: ffy 11:06pm ::

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

back to school.

with class starting at 8.30am and ending at 10.30am, it is just not a good idea. the train was packed, all seats taken, i had to stand and i started my 1st day of school horribly. i nearly fainted in the train this morning on the way to school. luckily i had my medicated oil and Cammie with me. i was happily listening and laughing to Cammie's story abt how Goochie's house nearly caught fire, when all of a sudden at B.Batok's stop, my vision was blurred, my hearing was blocked and i was perspiring profusely. i knew tt in any minute i would have fainted. if i did not have my medicated oil with me and Cammie to be around, i would have been a goner.

at J.east when i had to transit to the next train towards B.lay, still there were no empty seats though both of us had recce for one. i was left with no choice but to land my bumps on the cabin's floor. the fainting spell ceased a lil when we reached our destination. luckily, Cammie was spared from having to carry me.

adding to the weeks of coughing, fainting spell this morning, im now having 'sakit kocek'(my pocket's having a hole). all thanks to the shopping trips tt i made with mum at Causeway Point this afternoon. $143 flew off in just 3hours. in fact, i had some extra cash, thus i was thinking of bringing mum out to shop for her stuffs. yeahhh. ended up, i shopped as well. finally mum got her Charles & Keith beg while i got the sandals. bought for her some tops and treated her dinner. got myself tops and bottoms for my practicum and new sets of lingerie as well. and now, to recoup the loss, i shall bring my own lunch box to school.

:: ffy 12:32am::

Monday, January 02, 2006

i can't believe im returning to school in a day. very the malassssssss. and the best part is, my class starts at 8.30am tomorrow. lagi malassssssss. if there's no changes in the timetable, i will have no classes on monday and friday. GREAT. looonnggg weekend. but every good thing will shortlive. my stint in NIE for this last semester, insya allah, will only be for 6 weeks. come february, 20th Feb-05 May, will be the practicum. all hell will break loose. let us savour the last few months as students. and i will definitely miss being a student.

:: ffy 05:09pm ::

Sunday, January 01, 2006

we ushered in 2006 with the same group of people who went to O bar last wednesday. we ditch the bike and hitch a ride. 2 cars and a super 4 with no places in mind. initial plan was only to have dinner at Lau Pa Sat, after which head down to Marina South. no more mass countdowns or club tt we've done for the past few years, its just us enjoying the night away. instead, after dinner with full blown stomach, we walked to Esplanade from LPS to catch the fireworks. we got separated from the group; split into 3, in the midst of the human traffic jam. network was jammed, no form of contact. luckily i managed to call home and get dad to get hold of my cousin on her mobile. no doubt it was really jam packed but the fireworks just left us in awe. as true as it is, it was our very 1st time in 4 years catching the fireworks together. no kidding. not even for NDP or countdowns. cos we would either club or spend our countdowns at some other places.

with tired feet, gloomy faces, esp. the pakcik, we walked back to LPS to decide on the next stop. FUNK, HRC, COCOLATTE, MOMO, MAHLIGAI MANIS, MARINA SOUTH, CLARK QUAY, KARAOKE, SENTOSA, KALLANG WATERFRONT, BOWLING. clueless we were. it took us 20 mins to decide. we had no more strength to club or sing and all we need is just to chill. CLARK QUAY it was. and we sat by the river for mere 20 mins with drinks in hands before making the next move to try our luck at COCOLATTE. only 3 could get in free while the other 8 had to pay. the pakcik and i were really shagged and sleepy, and we told each other tt if should they want to club, we would just wait outside. 15 bux for the cover charge and with 1hr+ before closure, it was just not worth it. in the end, the idea was dropped and after much pondering, the final destination was to have supper at adam's corner, formerly known as Rezeki, at Bendemeer. it served great food.

we were exhausted from the laughters (as usual when we meet), walking and thinking of places to go. the pakcik and i went on our separate ways from our eating place, where my 2 cousins sent us home respectively. reached home at 4.45am and knocked out immediately. the 10 hours spent outside was a killer.

i have no new year resolution as i strongly do not believe in it. why wait till the new year to have a resolution if we don't work it out? i'd prefer to make things happen when im certain of it.

:: ffy 11:12pm ::